Published: August 17, 2008 07:12 pm            

VASICEK: Aging and connecting

Some of our youth belong to a Christian Rock Band, and the drummer will soon be off to college. With summer ending, they scheduled a recording date to use our church auditorium. They are blasting away right now. But I scheduled them on a day when I had no appointments, so I can live with the noise this once.

There was a time when I myself enjoyed Christian rock: Larry Norman, Keith Green and Russ Taff were among my favorites. But that was 30 years ago. Since then, I have fallen madly in love with the popular jazz music written between 1925 and 1935. I do not enjoy rock (at all) these days. Part of the reason is simple: at 51, I am at the threshold of old age. Still, I am glad when to see youth entertain themselves rather than vegetating in front of a screen.

A lot of folks may age will not admit to the fact that they are approaching “old age.” Despite hair loss, wrinkles, reduced flexibility and visits from Arthur, they are oblivious to the reality that “age is really happening.” Pure unmitigated denial.

A woman in her mid-90s once told me, “I am getting old.” I was thinking, “Lady, you are old and have been old for at least 20 years.” As our friends and siblings age with us, we are tempted to up the scale and redefine our terminology. There is nothing wrong with getting old: it is quite natural. Why not simply embrace it and enjoy its positives? Nonetheless, we should evade the unhelpful attitudes that may accompany aging.

We human beings suffer from a phenomenon called “selective memory.” Our minds reconfigure our memories with the result that our 20-something years end up being the “good old days” -- not only for us, but also for modern history! The past becomes Utopia and the present is always something less.

This glamorizing of the past is not unique to our times. Centuries before Jesus was born, King Solomon wrote, “Do not say, ‘Why is it that the former days were better than these?’ For it is not from wisdom that you ask about this” (Ecclesiastes 7:10).

Because we remember the past inaccurately, because we forget so much of what the stages of life were really like, and because times have changed, many of us find it difficult to relate to younger generations. We think they should know the lessons we learned over decades of trial of error. We think they should live as we lived when we were young, should like our music, and share our perspectives.

Baby Boomers are notoriously oblivious to the reality that their tastes are out of date. Younger generations view Baby Boomers just like Baby Boomers viewed the World War II generation (only today’s youth are much kinder: they typically enjoy older people rather than suggesting everyone over 30 should not be trusted).

Unlike Boomers who rejected anything from the past, today’s youth are open to explore it. Kokomo’s community youth drama organization, “Curtain Call,” recently produced the play, “Murder My Sweet” (a Philip Marlowe mystery) written in the 1940’s. The kids loved it! In our summer youth program, we teach our youth ballroom dancing (Swing, Foxtrot, etc.). What a blast!

But young people cannot live in a past world that no longer exists; they must adapt to the current society in which they find themselves. Those of us who embrace Judeo-Christian values have to help today’s youth within today’s diverse culture and varied value systems. We cannot bring back the monolithic culture of bygone eras.

The younger generations have it tougher than previous generations. Modern technology and convenience cannot compensate for the stability, security, and discipline that arises from a solid, balanced, traditional family.

This world is not longer the “cookie cutter” world it once was. Yet today’s youth are looking for their bearings; they are more interested in connecting to the older generations than previous generations - but they connect best to people who are willing to put themselves in their shoes, not those who exalt the past. I sometimes wonder if the older generations can hear their calls.

        

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