By ED VASICEK
Tribune columnist
December 15, 2007 04:34 pm
—
For many of us, every Christmas season seems tighter (time wise) than Christmases past. Many of us are more absent-minded than we realize; the worst of us forget that we are forgetful. But some of us can remember from year to year, and we brace ourselves for the inevitable holiday rush.
My wife and I were at a party Friday and Saturday nights; on Sunday night, we went Christmas caroling to shut-ins with our church group. Tuesday was another party, Wednesday a church activity, Thursday night another party and Saturday night (yesterday) yet another party!
For many of us, fitting in holiday activities is like trying to squeeze two pounds of bologna into a one pound bag. We love the holidays, but we can’t wait for the January doldrums. We need recuperation.
We are generally happy because we see friends and family and spread cheer: We just wish life was not so concentrated. As we quickly sort through junk mail, we hope we are not throwing away incognito bills. Newspapers and magazines stack up – unread. We are overwhelmed.
A little girl watched her parents scurrying about, getting ready for Christmas. Mom and dad were so busy, they had
little time for her. Whenever she would ask for some attention, a parent
would respond, “We don’t have time
for that now. We have to get ready
for Christmas.”
One night, the family finally found time to pray together. The little girl began reciting her own seasonal version of the Lord’s Prayer: “Our Father who art in heaven, please forgive us our Christmases as we forgive those who Christmas against us.” Mom and dad caught the message.
But excessive business is not a dilemma shared by everyone during the Christmas season. Many people find themselves jousting with the Dark Knight: depression. For some folks, Christmas is a painful reminder of broken families, deceased loved ones, and disappointment; they contemplate what should have been or what used to be. Others feel enslaved by loneliness and will pass the holiday as one in solitary confinement.
An individual who finds Christmas depressing might sense that society refuses to give him or her permission to be blue. What do you do when everyone is wishing you a merry holiday season and you do not feel merry?
First, you need to understand that the greeting, “Merry Christmas” is not a demand, but a wish. “Merry Christmas” is short for, “I wish you a happy and merry Christmas.” Wishing another well is a good thing; it is not a denial of how you might feel.
Second, you need to know you are not alone. According to a recent MSNBC article, “Somber Blue Christmas services are being held at many churches around the country this year, in recognition of what psychologists have long known: that the contrived good cheer of the holiday season can actually make some people who are dealing with heartbreak feel worse. The Blue Christmas services confront feelings of grief and loss head-on.” Interesting.
Third, make sure that your typical modus operandi is to be social. Some folks belong to no clubs, do not attend church, and have no fun times with friends or family. There is a difference between being alone during the holidays and being alone in daily life. If the realization hits you (at Christmas) that you have no social life, getting through the holidays is not enough. You need to connect the rest of the year. Volunteer. Join a club. Invite others over for a meal, cards, or games throughout the year. Take initiative to be social.
For some folks, Christmas is the time when the kids are gone for visitation or when you remember celebrating joyfully with your now-deceased spouse. To such folks, I hope you can find creative ways to experience at least a little of the joy of the season. Go to church. Call long lost friends and family members. Visit someone else who is alone this Christmas. It will not cure the blues, but it might moderate them. I wish you “as merry a Christmas as possible.”
Ed Vasicek is pastor of Highland Park Church and a weekly contributor to the Kokomo Tribune.
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